wrigley field is MILF paradise
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
