Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
