nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
