ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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