While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
