I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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