Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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