Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
