bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
