Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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