Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
