is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
