You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
