It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
