Fuck appropriateness.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's rum buckets o'clock
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
