11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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