just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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