I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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