no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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