Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
