The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
being pregnant is like rehab
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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