I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
