I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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