On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
