Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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