I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
