awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
