That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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