I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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