I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
