Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
