He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
