Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
