Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
