No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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