There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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