I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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