woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
