It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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