To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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