I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
