Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
