My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
