It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
