yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
