id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
