awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
