you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
