I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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