$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
