who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
