what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
